“Kourtney and Kim Take Miami” Episode 3 ReKap
January 29, 2013
In the second episode of “Kourtney and Kim Take Miami,” the Kardashian sisters (plus Scott) seemed to have ignored their store completely in favor of some interesting shenanigans involving milk, Scott’s new friends, and some poor advice.
Scott gets invited to a party at his new friend Chapman’s house. Kourtney doesn’t want to come, so he takes Kim instead—until she gets bored and decides to leave. She calls up Kourtney to assure her that the party is innocent and there’s nothing to worry about, even though we all know Kourt is going to worry anyway. And of course, Scott is really only just getting started.
Because Kourtney can’t reach Scott on his phone, she decides to Skype with her therapist because she’s worried about that Scott is going to “slip into his old way” by trying to impress his new friends by being the life of the party. Because Kourtney is known for making comments towards Scott that are not, shall we say, constructive, the therapist gives Kourtney some award-winning advice: to write her feelings out in a message-format but not actually send them to Scott. This way, Kourtney can think before she speaks. It’s those kinds of golden suggestions that never gets old.
Another useful piece of counsel, this time from me: perhaps everyone would just be better off if they didn’t drink while there were cameras around. I mean, nobody wants this stuff to be preserved forever, right? Well, Scott’s having the time of his life over at Chapman’s. He’s made some new friends, particularly a lesbian named Dani, who Scott likes because he can hang out with her without worrying about her having an interest in him (I had no idea that he was such a magnet for trouble that he needs to think about these things when making friends). Also, he thinks it’s kind of crazy that her hair looks a LOT like his and Chapman’s. And, honestly, it does.
Meanwhile, Kim has other things on her mind; she’s been having some difficulty with her psoriasis, a skin condition that has gotten worse since she arrived in Miami. Since Kourtney suggested finding some home remedies to help, Kim and Jonathan go to the internet to see what’s out there. And, whataya know? As it turns out, breast milk happens to be one of the suggested remedies to psoriasis. Kim thinks this is perfect, because she can just get some milk from Kourtney. Jonathan—like the rest of us—is more than a little weirded out by the idea, besides being wise enough to point out that they would essentially be taking food from Kim’s niece and nephew. But, wait, it’s OK—Kim swears that Kourtney never has to find out. Yeah, okay. It’s not like she’s being filmed for national television or anything.
Jonathan, who must be used to Kim’s antics by now, has clearly decided to just go with it. He distracts Scott so that Kim can grab some of Kourtney’s milk from the fridge, and later finds Kim in her room, rubbing it onto her psoriasis spots. The next day, she swears that her psoriasis is much improved, but she’ll have to get more to really see how well it works.
Scott gets called a call from Dani asking him out to dinner with a few friends. This just reinstates in his mind how awesome and likeable he is, and he accepts her invitation. So they meet up, and it basically ends up being Scott and a lot of Dani’s lesbian friends. They discuss everything from gay marriage to a potential name for Scott’s boat—“Lez Be Honest” or a similar play on the word lesbian. Now, I’m all for a good pun (keyword: good), but there is a time and place for everything, and that place probably isn’t Scott’s boat, or, you know, anywhere else. Just some food for thought. Anyway, Scott has a great time and loves that Dani and all of her friends are such easygoing people.
Kim is babysitting for Kourtney, and spends half the night waiting for the kids to fall asleep so she can steal some more breast milk—enlisting Jonathan to sneak it back into her room. She later makes up the story to Kourtney that some of the milk spilled, just in case Kourt notices that any of it has gone missing.
Scott later tells the Kardashians about his night, including the part about how easy the conversation was. Naturally, Kourtney takes it as an implication that life is the opposite with her, and she feels like Scott is more interested with being friends with other people than hanging out with their family. Scott feels like he can’t do anything right.
Clearly, we’re at a standoff. Cue the lonely music.
Kim walks in on Kourtney writing angry emails to no one—you know, the trick her therapist taught her. Kim takes the phone to look at what Kourtney wrote and moments later (you may want to sit down for this) Kim sends the email by accident.
Excuse me while I hold my head in my hands and moan.
How could this have happened? Since I’m all for equal spread of the blame, I’ll start at the top. To Kourtney’s therapist: maybe you should have suggested using a journal instead of a message that could hypothetically—and, it would seem, actually—be sent to the person being written about. Your brilliant plan has just backfired tremendously. To Kourtney: was there ever a moment when you considered not including Scott’s email on the recipient bar? I promise, the effect of writing the email would have been exactly the same. And lastly, Kim: I don’t even have the words to express what I’m feeling right now. I get that you’re on your phone so often that pressing send is like an instinctual muscle memory for you, but surely there was a way for this to have been avoided. Surely.
If this wasn’t a reality television show, the rest of the episode would involve Kourtney and Kim trying to steal Scott’s phone and delete the email before he notices. But this is real life, and a reminder that emails move pretty darn fast. Scott comes storming in and (rightfully) freaks out because he just received a transcript of his girlfriend’s thoughts, which happened to be a lot of anger directed towards him.
Kim tries to talk to Scott and apologizes for sending the email. But, Scott is right in pointing out that while he was never supposed to receive the email, it wasn’t written by accident, either. He admits that he would rather go back to California or New York just so he didn’t have to deal with Kourtney’s unpredictable anger towards him.
Scott goes shopping with Dani and vents about his feelings to her. She explains that women have often have underlying issues behind their emotions and that, unfortunately for him, girls like to drag things on. She advises him to communicate (now THERE’S the advice we could have used from the therapist) and Scott is genuinely appreciative of her support.
Jonathan comes over to spend time with Kim, but she isn’t interested in going anywhere. Actually, she needs more milk from Kourtney, but isn’t sure how to get it. They go to Kourtney and ask if she would give them some under the guise that Mercy needs a certain kind of milk that they don’t have. Kourtney is suspicious—Mercy is just a cat, after all—but she says that she’ll do it if Jonathan puts on the breast pump just for kicks. Jonathan actually does it—proving that he is the most loyal friend Kim will probably ever have—but Kourtney ends up going back on her promise anyway.
Kourtney finds out that Scott is thinking of going back to New York. He tells her that he feels like an inconvenience, but she denies that that’s true. Kourtney doesn’t understand why he feels trapped, and Scott explains that it’s because of how she treats him. Kourtney insists that she does care, and Scott thinks that maybe she cares too much and at the wrong times—which sums it up pretty nicely. Again, communication saves the day, and they make up. Let this pattern in their relationship serve as a life lesson to you all.
Kim sneaks into Kourtney’s room for some more milk and starts rubbing it on her leg right then and there. So, as one would expect, Kourtney catches her and is a little upset—let’s remember, this is the food that is sustaining her daughter; anger is warranted—but mostly she just thinks that Kim is really weird. Considering the hour of television that I’ve just sat through, I can’t really argue this point.
Scott takes Kourtney and Mason out to ice cream so Kourtney can meet Dani for the first time. They seem to get along well, I guess, but it looked a little awkward to me. Maybe that’s just because the producers have to maintain a certain ratio between time spent fighting and getting along on this show. We’d hate to disrupt the balance.
Next week, it looks like the Jenner clan is coming to Miami. So if this episode seemed lacking in substantial plot, let’s just say that whoever created the phrase “the more the merrier” wasn’t referring to this family in action.